THE SHOW
Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, clinical psychologist and author of How to Be Enough, joins the show to explore the nuances of perfectionism—from its seductive productivity perks to its hidden emotional costs. She shares her own journey from high-achieving student to recovering perfectionist, breaks down the psychology of procrastination and emotional suppression, and offers practical strategies for redefining self-worth, navigating achievement hangovers, and aligning with intrinsic values. The conversation also touches on the loneliness epidemic, community building, and how shifting from “have to” to “choose to” can transform how we show up in our lives.
Behind Her Brilliance: Investing in what connects us to others instead of what sets us apart
Say hi to Ellen on Substack: @ellenhendriksen
THE GUEST
ELLEN HENDRIKSEN, PHD | AUTHOR + CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST
DR. ELLEN HENDRIKSEN (she/her) is a clinical psychologist who will help you calm your anxiety and be your authentic self. She serves on the faculty at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD) and is the author of HOW TO BE ENOUGH: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists as well as HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.
Her scientifically-based, zero-judgment approach has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, BBC News, New York Magazine, The Guardian, Harvard Business Review, Scientific American, O: The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, Business Insider, Psychology Today, and many other media outlets.
Dr. Hendriksen earned her Ph.D. at UCLA and completed her training at Harvard Medical School. She lives in the Boston area with her family.
TOPICS COVERED
Why pivoting early (or late) is worth it
A new definition of perfectionism—and why it’s a trap
The two pillars of maladaptive perfectionism: overvaluation and rigid standards
The myth of emotional perfectionism
Rules vs. values (and how rules often masquerade as values)
Demand sensitivity and the burden of internal expectations
The achievement hangover: chasing the next milestone without fulfillment
The difference between goals and values
Procrastination as anxiety in disguise
Visualizing your future self to beat avoidance
Practical tools to embrace imperfection and act anyway
Community, connection, and healing the loneliness epidemic
The value of empathy in creative and professional work
And much more!
STUFF MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
How to Be Yourself – Ellen’s first book
How to Be Enough – Ellen’s latest book
Quiet by Susan Cain – Ellen’s pick
Love at Goon Park by Deborah Blum – Ellen’s pick
Jim Henson by Brian Jay Jones – Ellen’s pick
